Stoned thoughts

I play a weirdly amusing game with myself on the trivialest of things. Like speed of my eyes shutting, my hand movement, air temperature feeling my cheek, time of journey left. There are two little rabbits betting, both called Sagar. One of them wins, and the pleasure is mine. Either way. I justify everything sharply. Time is slow. There are no negatives. Just floating mind, quivering about to strange thoughts. A point to discuss. Yes, discuss. Not opining, not justifying, but arguing. And logically concluding what I wished for. Then I make up funny jokes and let one of the rabbits laugh. I score the games am playing. I'm winning. Then I realize how important, those streetlights are. The next moment, am seeing psychadelia. Am moving my toes to some music of Floyd. And it sounds real. Suddenly, I prick myself, to know this is real. And it turns out its not. I open my eyes, and just forget the thought experiment of pricking, and start off again. Suddenly the cute girl from Little Miss Sunshine is doing the dance. And I'm laughing off crazy. I remember the bumps story saip told me. just realized how it relates to DAC, for ali etc people in my second year. A picture comes to my mind, stupefying me. I look at it, touch it, roll my fingers over it, feel it and realize that its the screensaver of win player, Vista. Fishes start swimming, birds flying, and small bugs crawling. I run away, and find myself in the middle of nowhere, trying to find a person, whose face I have forgotten. I find a sea shell and become satisfied. The next thing I see, is Tom Hanks worshipping some sorta football. I say nuts, and realize this is from cast away. So am I cast away. I pinch myself, to realize its main gate. I get off to sign. Come back to my room. Change, lie down. Eat choco good day, talk to a friend. Get up to seeoff utki. Bloating heads. Mumbles of this that. Chatter. But not painful. Am smiling the whole time, asif I know some sorta secret. I'm right. I feel correct in what I think, walk, do , talk and my minds a captured picture. Motionless. And yet very alive. I realize its over. The next moment, am again in the battle field of thoughts, deciding what the next move is, what my next conclusion should be, decide right from wrong, and optimize over thoughts. It sucks. Yet I feel steady. There are a lot of steady states to stick to. Just know your particular one.
'Raah pakad tu ek chala chal, paa jaayega madhushaala.'
Continue after Bhavani Juice.

Yellow. How have you been? Continuing on my bed time blogging, fools listen and fools talk.
My god granted wish of being genuine, should turn out to be true once I find myself. And yes, I will tell you about it. Crossing the finish line, winning the race and losing my mind (lazlo). Got to feed the soul. Maybe it is just a mandatory deal to constantly improve ( tooo harsh a word, i must say; rather should be using introspect and keep it all locked away in once head. The interactions of the memory bytes within themselves, will yield some sorta result which may be simple enough to comprehend), or it is just over philosophy which was earlier known as pseudo intellectual gibberish, put in very lucid terms by kenkre, as a trial to be a buddhijeevi.
Lekin vastavikta. Kya ismein jeena zaroori hain.

Strikes my head suddenly. Fuck! forgot! Just saw a beautiful pic of Belluci, man shes hot!
Looked out of my window, and saw a beautiful leaf falling on the grill. Transferred epithet. Metacognition power should be removed. Forrest Gump. Running through my head. Its not enough. There has to be something. Ignorance is bliss, and realizations. Into the Wild, is a dangerous one. The Wild One, is a movie am dying to watch. The dialogue, "So what are you rebelling against? A: Whaddya got? " is a pathbreaker.

Sometimes, I think this intellectual capacity provided to individuals to opine, and then justify what they just said, is a false alarm. It has to be the other way around. Intution should be logified. Twist of fate.

Pondering, I was analysing the randomness of everything happening, the flowing of the day, and lunch times, and coding, and hanging out. Moments, coming and going. Happily going by. Like it doesn't matter. And the contrary side of it, planned day, with its timelines and deadlines, fully scheduled manners. And the randomness currently, (3 days or so) scares me. Is this it? Is this how its going to be? Or my capability to plan and execute should be applied to remove this uncertainty. The tradeoff of choosing the 'better one'. How can the better one be chosen since I don't know what results from the other not so good choice? Judgement and happiness are not related. Or are they?

And such a waste of life over small decisions. Trivial issues. Self-doubt. Regrets. Future predictions. Status messages. Wallah. ! What a sexy way to put what you are thinking, or what you find cool enough to define your mood or personality. I hear 'bblaabbbeerrrs, stop it now!'.

Relaxed life is what very few understand is the best way to live life. We, at times, get too serious about ourselves, and think wishfully. Be ambitious, be good, work hard, and wait for the results.
Listen to Lazlo yaar.

I follow noone. I don't follow any sport. :D
I'm the Iron man!

Just realized the deepest funda. Sell Happiness. Thats the basic motto of any company that is successful. Was looking at a guy innocently smiling and typing in orkut. Just give everyone happiness, and get paid for it! Yes.

And yes, am winning. The score is still ticking.

Dialogues I love:
1. Whaddya got?
2. Vastavikta mein jeena seekho major.
3. Uthna, baithna,..
4. buddhijeeviyon ki tarah baat karna, tyohar manana, ishq ladana, jeena.
5. Stupid is that stupid does.
6. Vaise hume jyaada baat karne ki aadat to nahi...
7. Bhagvaan hans raha hain oopar se. Khel raha hain humare saath. Aur hum samajh nahi paa rahe ki yeh ek game hain. Bus.
8. Take Leave
the conscious mind
Found myself
to be so inclined

Why sleep
in discontent?
Oh the price
of companionship

My shadow runs with me
underneath the Big Wide Sun
My shadow comes with me
as we leave it all
we leave it all Far Behind

9. And the best one:

society, have mercy on me
I hope you're not angry if I disagree
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me.

10. All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin' the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
and speak my point of view
But it's not sane, It's not sane
I just want some one to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made
And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape


All we seek is recognition. From people who are close to us. To check our basics. Confirm what we are. To satisfy our egos.

I talk very less now. I have realized that communication without purpose is no worth. People talk and talk. They talk about the misfortune of slumdwellers, or the downtrodden. They speak of global warming. They speak of electricity. They speak of paper waste. And what next? They sympathize about them, and revert to their basic lifestyle. Damn you ! If you have the bloody guts to realize all this, and speak about it, they be auudacious enough to make a change, contribute! Be a stepping stone to what you want to change. This is my opinion. Some might differ. Some may think, discussing is another step to doing something. Maybe, if you have that in mind, good for you.

I don't feel like talking most of the times. Except when I think its mandatory to give an opinion. Or for timepass, to make fun, and to laugh. But not to opine. I hate uncomfortable silences. Why do you think its necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable? Thats when you know you found someone special.When you can just fuck up for a minute and comfortably share silence. (")

Colourful nonsense for aesthetically superior brainheads written in a flairy manner to impress and self-potray an image, a perception of the world around reflecting on himself.

Do you see the randomness? If you don't then you understand me better than I do.